As I lie here, seemingly from my deathbed with one of my dad's old hankies taped underneath my permenately dribbling nose, I ponder the relevance of the term "The common cold."
If it was 'common' then we would know what to expect, but instead we get variations from a 'little sniffle and sore throat' to 'OH MY GOD I CAN'T BREATHE AND I WANT TO DIE!' The 'common cold' can even, in its more extreme forms, bring the non-religious to their knees praying for forgiveness and release from this most unholy of plagues.
You stay off work/school/college to prevent spreading your disgusting germs around. In actuality you stay home because you feel rougher than a sandpaper tampon and you couldn't give an arse about anyone else, and quite frankly, if you have to endure Bargin Hunt and Jeremy Kyle for days as your punishment, so should they be punished for being stupidly healthy.
The cold is a virus which means NOTHING WORKS against it (except maybe chocolate...and ice cream). You can take cold remedies until you become a partner in a pharmaceutical firm, none of it makes the blindest bit of difference. Each cold you get is different from the last. The virus works on mutation and natural selection but does so with huge speed compared to the human race. And when the final battle draws near, the human race will be doomed.
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